


(I Want to) Be a Star

by lordkrisdemort



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Yifan's Birthday Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27369436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordkrisdemort/pseuds/lordkrisdemort
Summary: But of course, even for him, there are some wishes that can’t be granted.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23
Collections: Challenge #9 — Behind the Mask





	(I Want to) Be a Star

**Author's Note:**

> Back ground music: As She Passes by Levi Patel https://open.spotify.com/track/3cb5HfMXYCk6ynmvRLlxro?si=tR5l2X_XR86Rc_IwSE2Tag

“Remember that thing you told me about the stars?”

He almost missed the question, coming with the soft, hushed voice, while he was too caught with staring blankly at the hand in his hold, thin fingers looking so petite compared to his own. His eyes then trace the path from the fragile looking hand to the chest that struggles to heave up and down, to the collarbones that stick out even under the thin pajama shirt provided by the hospital, then lastly to the small face looking even paler than the white sheets of the ward bed.

A pair of round, sparkly eyes are staring back at him in expectation. “Which one?” he finally answers, relieved that his voice didn’t get caught in his throat due to the sudden sinking feeling in his stomach caused by the sight of the man in front of him looking like he’s literally fading away.

Junmyeon is literally fading away, and he can’t do anything about it.

“When a star burns out and dies, its light would still be visible to our eyes for many other years.” Junmyeon halts for a moment to breathe in. “You’d think it’s still there, when truthfully it has died long ago.”

The man then lets out a series of dry coughs, and this time it’s his chest that stings. He reaches out his free hand to caress Junmyeon’s arm gently as an attempt to calm him down. “What about that?” He tries so hard to sound casual, as if they’re just having the cliche quality time instead of their last moments together.

“Nothing in particular.” Junmyeon shrugs, voice still raspy from the coughing. “Somehow I’ve been thinking about that lately. It’s nothing, really, don’t mind me.”

He has an idea about why Junmyeon has been thinking about that particularly, but he doesn’t want to admit it to himself.

“Junmyeon,” he decides to pitch a question instead, “if you can make one last wish, what would it be?”

The man doesn’t answer right away. Instead, Junmyeon shifts his head to face the window across the ward, right where he could see the night sky outside. He lets Junmyeon have his moment while his thumb rubs circles on the man’s wrist.

Then the answer comes in, with the voice even softer than before.

“I want to be a star.”

It feels like something was taken out of him to leave him empty.

“You want to be a star?” He asks too quietly for his own liking.

Junmyeon turns back at him and nods weakly. “I want to be one of the stars.” A gentle smile spreads on the man’s pale lips. “So when I die, my light would still be visible for a long time. I want to be remembered after I’m gone.” The sparkly eyes wander around for a moment. “By you.”

Then it feels like he’s being crushed mercilessly by something.

Still, he forces himself to respond. “I could never forget you, Junmyeon.” He shakes his head almost desperately. “Not even in a trillion years.”

Forgetting Kim Junmyeon would be even worse than forgetting himself.

The light in Junmyeon’s eyes is dim, but they’re still sparkly enough for him to be able to tell that the man is ironically in a good mood. The prospect of tomorrow is so vague for him, yet there he is, on the hospital bed, giving him this gentle, warm smile. It’s too cruel that Junmyeon has to go so soon when he had just gotten those smiles back, when he had just gotten his peace in living. It’s too cruel, even for a being like him.

“Have I ever thanked you,  _ Kris _ ?” Junmyeon’s small voice makes him lean closer.

“What for?”

Junmyeon’s gaze is almost unreadable now. It feels like he’s faced with something even bigger than the galaxy itself.

Then the man whispers; “Being the answer to my wish.”

For a moment, he’s taken aback. He attempts to dive into those eyes, to learn Junmyeon’s thoughts.  _ Does he know? _ That’s unlikely the case. ‘ _ Granting my wish _ ’ would indicate that Junmyeon knows who he really is. ‘ _ Being the answer to my wish _ ’ means an entirely different thing.

Junmyeon still doesn’t know who he really is, but what the man knows is much more important;

He loves him.

He loves Junmyeon.

Against all odds, he fell in love with the man and had stayed in love even until this second.

“Yes, Junmyeon?”

The man doesn’t continue his words. Instead, Junmyeon only stares back at him, as if the man is basking in his presence for the last time. He leans forward to get closer to Junmyeon’s face, and ever so cautiously, he lands a soft kiss on the man’s forehead. Then the fluttering eyelids. The bridge of his nose. The apple of his cheeks. Then lastly, a short peck on the lips.  _ More _ , he thinks, begs. He wishes they could have more than this.

But of course, even for him, there are some wishes that can’t be granted.

Thus, he spends the next few hours sitting next to the bed, holding onto Junmyeon’s hand, while he watches the man sleep with a peaceful look on his face.

A couple of hours after midnight, Junmyeon takes his last breath.

And as his job in this world is finally done, as he welcomes Junmyeon’s soul in his arms, he recalls that one small wish that had gotten him to Earth. The wish that was earnestly, desperately whispered out of Junmyeon’s lips two years ago.

‘ _ I want to love and be loved. _ ’

Grinning so widely, he links his arm with Junmyeon’s, and together, they fly out of the window, up and up towards the night sky. No questions thrown, no explanation needed. Junmyeon  _ knows _ . Junmyeon finally knows.

Two years ago, he was a star, granting Junmyeon his wish. Tonight, he comes back to the sky with Junmyeon.

Tonight, they become stars.

And together, they’re going to shine for millions of years.  
  


* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Kris was a star who was 'swooshing' by when Junmyeon made a wish, so he came to Earth to grant it. Yes, Junmyeon became a star next to him. Yes, this was weird, and I have no regrets about it ;-)


End file.
